There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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