I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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