oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
