okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
