Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
