so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Congratulations! We have a period
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