I just made out with a guy for $7.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
