I only kidnapped one of them. chill
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
