People in love make me want to vomit
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
