Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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