Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
