hell yes lets make some ravioli
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
