OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize