no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
