i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize