why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
