Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
PANTIES FOUND
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