I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
