after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
