do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
