Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
