YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
