So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize