Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
