can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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