just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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