period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
