He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Panties = found
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