If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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