hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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