i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
