So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
