i just google imaged poop.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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