Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
