capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
