community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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