Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
