But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
