I love black thongs
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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