Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
