we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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