How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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