I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
its liver damage thursday
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
