Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize