just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
