So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
