Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize