I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
