Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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