When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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