He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
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