Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
this boner is exhausting
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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