how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
party gras won. party gras always wins.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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