we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
