"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
