I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
