The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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