i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
