You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
