Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
